Across India, in thousands of homes that appear ordinary from the outside, a quiet and deeply distressing reality is unfolding. Marital conflict, prolonged disputes, and family breakdowns are increasingly shaping the emotional lives of children. In many such situations, children grow up distanced from one parent—not by circumstance alone, but through layers of conflict, mistrust, and systemic gaps.
At the heart of this issue lies a difficult truth: when relationships between parents deteriorate, the child often becomes the unintended casualty. In high-conflict separations, access to the child can become a site of control, negotiation, or even retaliation. The result is a gradual weakening—or in some cases, completes severance—of the child’s relationship with one parent.
This is not merely a “family matter” to be dismissed informally. Increasingly, it is being recognised as a serious child welfare and mental health concern. While the scale of the problem in India remains under-documented, its presence is widely acknowledged by mental health professionals and legal practitioners.
The causes of such situations are complex and layered. One important factor is the erosion of traditional support systems. The decline of the joint family structure has reduced the presence of mediating voices—grandparents, extended family members, and community elders—who once played a stabilising role during marital disputes.
At the same time, persistent parental conflict—often aggravated by misunderstandings, unresolved grievances, or prolonged litigation—creates an environment where the child is exposed to emotional tension. In many households, interference or pressure from extended family members, including in-laws, further complicates relationships, sometimes reinforcing divisions rather than resolving them. These dynamics can make cooperative parenting extremely difficult.
Legal processes, while essential, can sometimes intensify adversarial positions between parents. Allegations and counter-allegations, regardless of their outcome, often shape perceptions and deepen mistrust. In such contexts, the child’s access to one parent may become restricted, either directly or indirectly.
Research from the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS), Bengaluru, highlights factors such as unresolved emotional conflict, insecurity, and interpersonal tensions as contributing to such family dynamics. These are rarely one-sided situations; rather, they emerge from a combination of relational breakdown, legal complexity, and social pressures.
The Supreme Court of India, in Vivek Singh v. Romani Singh (2017), acknowledged the phenomenon of parental alienation and its psychological implications for children. However, systemic mechanisms to address it—such as structured mental health assessments or child-focused interventions—remain limited.
In many cases, especially within the current legal and social framework in India, young children tend to remain in the primary custody of one parent—most often the mother. While this arrangement may be appropriate in several circumstances, it can also result in the other parent experiencing a profound sense of loss when meaningful contact is reduced or disrupted.
There are numerous instances where non-custodial parents, particularly fathers, struggle to maintain regular communication with their children. Missed calls, limited visitation, or prolonged legal delays can create emotional distance over time. For a parent who was once actively involved in a child’s daily life, this separation can be deeply distressing.
This dimension of suffering often remains less visible in public discourse. The emotional toll of absence—of not being presents in milestones, conversations, or everyday moments—can have long-term psychological consequences for both the parent and the child.
International studies, including research from the United States, suggest that millions of parents experience varying degrees of estrangement from their children following separation. While contexts differ, the underlying emotional realities are comparable.
The most significant impact, however, is borne by the child. Exposure to sustained parental conflict can shape a child’s emotional and psychological development in lasting ways.
Research from NIMHANS documents patterns observed in such situations, including:
Persistent negative attitudes towards one parent
Rationalisations that may not align with the child’s age or experience
Emotional withdrawal or confusion
Influence of adult narratives in the child’s language and responses
Strained relationships with extended family members
It is important to understand that these behaviours do not emerge in isolation. They are often shaped by the child’s environment, experiences, and the dynamics they are exposed to over time.
Global research indicates that children caught in high-conflict parental disputes may experience anxiety, low self-esteem, difficulties in trust-building, and challenges in social adjustment. These outcomes underline the need to view such situations through a child rights and mental health lens, rather than a purely legal one.
India, as a signatory to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, recognises the principle of the “best interest of the child.” However, practical mechanisms to ensure that children’s voices are heard and their emotional needs are prioritised in custody disputes remain limited.
Globally, there is increasing recognition of the complexities involved in addressing parental alienation and high-conflict custody disputes.
In December 2024, the UK Family Justice Council issued guidance on “alienating behaviours,” emphasising the need for courts to carefully assess whether a child’s resistance to a parent is justified or influenced by external factors. At the same time, the guidance cautions against misuse of such claims in cases involving genuine abuse.
Brazil’s experience offers an important lesson. Its 2010 parental alienation law was intended to address the issue but has faced criticism for unintended consequences. In 2025, the UN Special Rapporteur recommended its repeal, noting concerns about misuse in sensitive cases.
These examples highlight that while recognition is important, legal responses must be carefully designed to avoid unintended harm.
India has taken initial steps in recognising the issue, but systemic responses remain limited. There are no standardised guidelines for identifying or addressing such situations, and training for judges, counsellors, and law enforcement personnel is still evolving.
One promising initiative is the Child Legal Assistance Programme (CLAP) by the Kerala State Legal Services Authority, which ensures independent legal representation for children in custody disputes. Such models demonstrate how child-centric approaches can be integrated into the legal system.
At the same time, existing legal frameworks, including the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023, and the Guardian and Wards Act, 1890, do not fully address the complexities of shared parenting or relational dynamics post-separation. This creates gaps in ensuring balanced and sustained parental involvement where appropriate.
Addressing this issue requires a balanced, child-centred, and systemic approach:
· Legal reforms: Encourage shared parenting frameworks where feasible, ensuring that both parents remain involved in the child’s life unless there are clear risks. Strengthen child protection provisions to recognise emotional harm arising from prolonged conflict.
· Judicial reforms: Introduce specialised training for family court judges. Mandate child-sensitive procedures, including mental health assessments where necessary. Promote faster resolution of custody and visitation cases.
· Institutional mechanisms: Expand child representation models like CLAP across states. Establish family counselling centres linked to courts to support conflict resolution.
· Mental health support: Develop a network of trained professionals to support children and parents. Encourage therapeutic interventions aimed at rebuilding trust and communication.
· Community and family awareness: Promote awareness about the impact of parental conflict on children. Encourage responsible engagement by extended families, recognising that interference can sometimes deepen divisions rather than resolve them.
Parental conflict, when left unaddressed, can reshape a child’s emotional world in lasting ways. The issue is not about assigning blame to one parent or the other; it is about recognising how systemic gaps, social pressures, and unresolved disputes can converge to the detriment of the child.
At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that the emotional pain experienced by separated parents—particularly those who struggle to maintain contact with their children—is real and significant. Addressing this issue requires empathy for all stakeholders, but a clear prioritisation of the child’s well-being.
India stands at a critical juncture. With growing awareness, evolving legal frameworks, and increasing engagement from mental health professionals, there is an opportunity to build a more responsive and child-centric system.
The question is not whether reform is needed, but how quickly and thoughtfully it can be achieved. Every delay risks deepening the emotional distance between children and parents. A balanced, humane, and systemic response is no longer optional—it is essential
Chitta Ranjan Pani is an independent researcher on livelihood, natural resource governance and mental health
Views expressed are the author’s own and don’t necessarily reflect those of Down To Earth.