Killer Ape

Another murderer comes to town. There is no dearth of Western murderers because our government lets them roam free

Published: Tuesday 31 August 1999

Helen of Troy or rather Greece was a beauty. She may have had brains too but we cannot say. It is said that she launched a thousand ships or was responsible for the launch of a thousand ships. These led to the death of a city called Troy. Bollywood filmstar Urmila Matondkar, who has grown up quite a lot since her Masoom days and recently portrayed a psychotic killer in another film Kaun , launched the Ape, which will be responsible for the slow murder of many unsuspecting individuals.

The Ape (pronounced Aa-pay) is the name given to a range of diesel three-wheelers and four-wheelers, manufactured by Piaggio Greaves Vehicles Limited. The Ape range of vehicles has been the leading brand of light transport vehicles in Europe. For a time diesel vehicles were very popular in Europe as manufacturers had sold the idea to people that diesel vehicles were spearheading the fight against global warming (see Down To Earth , Vol 8, No 4). Today, Europeans are realising that they are highly polluting and must be done away with.

Urmila Matondkar was at her beautiful best when she gushed during the launch ceremony that she would love to have a life partner like the Ape because of its deadly looks. "Piaggio's coming here makes us realise how important it is for us to have the right ideals and a terrific life partner," she said.

The right ideal, Ms Matondkar, would be to avoid diesel vehicles. Life with them would be nasty, brutish and short. Diesel vehicles emit very tiny particles that are the cause of everything from a cough to lung cancer. No technology can prevent these particles from escaping into the environment. The only way to clear the air is to ban diesel vehicles.

Diesel vehicles are actually being forced out in Europe and the us where very high emission standards have been set for vehicles. These high standards will make it impossible for diesel vehicle manufacturers to sell their products because diesel technology, as of date, cannot meet these requirements. What these countries are proclaiming is exactly the opposite of what Ms Matondkar is asking us to do. They are asking the people to beware of diesel vehicles.

They can kill you, without running you over.

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